The Truth Behind the Mask
by Aralara
Summary: Emily Amare thought the nightmare was over. She's engaged to her highschool sweetheart, Jason, and has a promising summer internship lined up in New York. Everything changes when she starts to get close to Colt, a guy interning with her. Emily must decide if she wants a life of color and music at the risk of her sanity, or if she wants safety.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey y'all! It's back! I took it down originally because I hit a low spot and ran out of time to think about the story and actively work on it. I've rewritten a bit, but it is mostly the same. Thanks! Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter 1**

I pushed my car door closed and the sound startled several birds out of their trees. I punched in the code to my garage door, grumbling under my breath that my garage door opener battery died. It was still chilly out, even though it was spring. I ducked under the door as it rose and stepped over the mess of Christmas stuff that took up our garage floor. I made sure the door closed again and called out as I walked inside, "Hey, mom." Her soft snores drifted in from the living room so I eased the garage door closed and crept through the kitchen to grab a snack. Once I had appropriated the food, I padded up the stairs, stepping on the inside edges to avoid any creaks. I made my way into my room and shut the door. I dropped my backpack onto my bed and dropped into the chair in front of my desk. After a moment of relaxation, I grabbed my bag and got out my homework. After a while, bored of math, I got onto my laptop and started scrolling through the comments that people had left on one of the videos I posted a few weeks ago. It was the first act of my high school's very recent performance of The Phantom of the Opera. I had been Christine and the whole process of rehearsals and shows had been very tumultuous, to say the least.

It was the normal mix of compliments and negativity. The comments about the guy who had played the Phantom were many, liberally interspersed between comments about me, the guy who played Raoul, and the chemistry between me and the Phantom. I couldn't look at those for long, though. Too many feelings that I didn't want to confront lay in wait amongst those words.

I closed out of my YouTube account and clicked over to my email. I started sifting through the usual amount of college propaganda that finds its way into senior year high school students' email inboxes around the last few months of school. As my eyes skimmed the page, they caught on an email from the school I had been offered a full ride from. I was _so_ excited to start there for my next semester. It was one of the few things I actually looked forward to in the future.

The Apastron Performing Arts Academy, New York, New York

Jeanine Fields

To: Emily Amare

Greetings Miss Amare,

All of us here at APAA wish you well and hope the final moments of your senior year are drawing gracefully to a close. We look forward to having you here with us this fall. In light of your recent YouTube post, I personally wanted to congratulate you on a wonderful show. I am very much looking forward to getting to know you and help you grow as a musical theatre actor.

On a slightly different note, I have a question for you, Miss Amare. Do you, perhaps, know how I might contact the young man who played the Phantom to your Christine? I think he would be a wonderful addition to our selection of accomplished students, along with you. However, I have found no way to reach him.

Have a wonderful summer, my dear, and see you this fall!

Sincerely,

Jeanine Fields

(Don't forget to audition for any summer stock around you! It's good to build your résumé now!)

I stared at the screen for a moment, not fully grasping what I had just read. If _she_ couldn't get a hold of Ty, what made her think _I_ could?

 _Well_ , I thought, _you do have a way to reach his parents. Abby._

Did I want to even attempt to try and get in touch with him? Did I want him to follow me to school? Would I be able to reach him if I tried? Did I really think his parents would let him get near me again?

I went back to my inbox. I'd have to try. Just so I could get back to Jeanine and truthfully say I had no idea how to reach him. I could text Abby and ask her if she had anything that could help me. The page refreshed and a new email stared at me. No way. I felt a smile lift my face and I could hardly sit still as I read:

Corona Theatre, New York, New York

To: Emily Amare

Congratulations!

You have been selected to audition for our summer internship program. As you know, our program is highly competitive and ends in credit hours toward AEA membership. Each intern candidate will audition and be considered for an understudy role, or if I deem fit, cast in our summer show. Through this process, those few selected will start to grasp the basic flow and feel of how professional theatre runs.

Auditions will be Saturday, March 4th, 20xx. We ask that each candidate prepare a full song from our show, Love Never Dies by Andrew Lloyd Webber. If you know any of the other candidates, you are welcome to perform a duet. Come prepared to dance as well as sing, so bring character shoes.

In a break from tradition, this audition will be held in the theater from the house and on stage. Yes, you will all be performing in front of everyone else. Simply come prepared to sing, dance, and act, as we will have our brilliant new accompanist, Cue Reynolds, there to play for you. He will be playing for us throughout rehearsals and the show, so no need to bring an accompanist with you. Know the title and lyrics to your song and you will be set.

Robert Simmons

Director/ Casting Associate

"I don't believe it." I whispered, in awe. I had been selected as a candidate! I had applied for this a couple of months ago when I was filling out college apps, but I didn't think I would hear anything! I jumped up and spun around a couple of times, dancing in excitement. I _felt_ more in this moment than I had in weeks. "Mom!" I yelled. "Mom, mom, mom, mom!" I ran out of my room and down the stairs. "What?" I heard her call. "Guess! You'll never guess, oh my gosh! I'm so excited!" My mom sat up from where she had been napping on the sofa in our living room. "What?" She demanded, grinning in confusion. "Guess who got an audition for the Love Never Dies internship in _New York_ at _Corona_!" She bolted up, her mouth open. "No. You did? Oh sweetheart! I'm so proud of you!" She crushed me in a hug that had me coughing for breath. She joined me for a bit in my silly happy dance, then she got serious.

"But, Emily, if you got this internship- where will you live? Baby, it's great and I'm so, so proud of you, but honey, I don't know if I want you out there in an apartment on your own. You're not even really a freshman yet. You're not even really graduated yet. Isn't this a little- I don't know, quick?"

"Mom, it's summer stock theatre, so housing's provided there. I checked before I submitted anything. Mom, please. _Please_. This is like, the best thing that could happen to me right now. I'm eighteen. I can do this."

"I don't know. Wouldn't you rather have a job where you get paid? So you can have some spending money during the school year other than the allowance we give you?"

"No, mom, it's a paid thing. Not much, but it also helps count toward hours for equity. That's why it's such a big deal. Please, mom? I need to do this. I _have_ to. I'll be okay."

She looked at me for a long time. Finally, with a look of resignation on her face, she sighed, "Okay. But you'll have to call me every day. We don't need a-," I interrupted her as I threw my arms around her. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" She chuckled as I hugged her. After a moment, she said, "But, Emily, listen to me. Call me every day. Or your dad." The worry lines on her face deepened, "We can't go through another event like- like the one that happened with- Nathan." Her voice was soft, but incredibly hard as she forced his name out. Her eyes flew to mine. "I mean it."

"Yes, ma'am." I couldn't keep the smile from my face as I looked at her, my excitement at its boiling point, although slightly tempered by the mention of Nathan's name. The lines around her face softened as she finally let another smile light her face. "Okay, gonna go." I said. "I want to go tell Ja- Jason." As I left her in the living room, I wondered at my thoughts. He'd been the first person after my mom that I'd wanted to tell. Interesting. And promising. Were my feelings returning? I wasn't sure I wanted them to, but I had no one better to tell.

Immediately, I felt guilty at such a thought. If anything, they needed to be somewhat present. I was going to marry him. Because I loved him. Lov _ed._ But I was pretty sure I didn't now. Not in a romantic way, at least. A lot had changed the past few weeks, and not all for the better. I knew the right thing to do would be to try and convince him that the charade should end, but somehow, I couldn't see him listening to me. He hadn't the two previous times I'd brought it up, so why bother again? I already knew what his reply would be. My phone buzzed, breaking me out of the dismal direction my thoughts were leading me. "Hello?" I answered.

"Hey, babe!"

"Jase." I grimaced. "No. I will smack you. Again."

He laughed and continued on talking, "Okay, sorry. Hey, did you get an email recently?"

"Maybe. Did you?" I asked, my excitement starting to bubble again in the pit of my stomach, making me giddy. "Yep. Did you get accepted?" He asked.

"Yes! And I'm assuming you did, too, otherwise, you wouldn't have called me."

"You're right." He laughed, "How awesome is this? We get to go audition in New York, first thing outta high school. Want to rehearse together? Want to do a duet?" I heard the cheeky grin in his voice. I snickered a bit as I answered him, "Have you even seen the show?" A pause.

"No."

"Then don't you think that'd be a good place to start? Hmm?"

"Sounds good!" He said. "I'll be over at eight to pick you up. We can watch it at my house, so don't forget it."

"Oh, yeah? What makes you think _I_ own it?" I asked, and yes, I flirted. Heavily. I'm trying, okay?

"Em. You are the biggest fan of this stuff I've ever known. I'd honestly be shocked if you didn't. Plus, I think you told me you had the movie when you found out about this thing in the first place."

"Touché."

"See you at eight?" He asked.

"See you at eight." I replied, actually looking forward to the date. It surprised me. It shouldn't have, but it did. I couldn't wait.

I went upstairs back into my room to re-read my email again, to make sure I hadn't missed anything. After that, I grabbed a book from the large bookcase that sat in my room and lounged on my bed, reading. I enjoyed my momentary journey to another place, far from Earth. By the time I sat it down to get ready to head to Jason's, it was around 7:40. I dug the DVD out from under a stack of other movies and sat it out on my dresser. I glanced in my mirror and shrugged. Good enough. I had worn makeup to school that day, so I looked presentable. I grabbed the movie, a jacket, and my book and went downstairs to wait for Jason to come pick me up.

After another quick journey to another world, a quick knock pulled me back to reality. I opened the door to Jason standing on the porch, hands in pockets. "Hey, Em. Ready?" He asked with a grin. I nodded, "Yeah." I stepped out, movie in hand, and shut the door behind me.

The car ride over to his house was mostly quiet. After a few questions relating to the school day and upcoming graduation, silence pervaded. When we arrived, he put the movie on and we sat there. I loved listening to the music. I didn't find the plot quite as riveting as _Phantom_ , but I still enjoyed it. And, knowing my personal preference of shipping a couple, the way _Love Never Dies_ starts to draw the Phantom and Christine together made me pretty happy. Okay, maybe not the actual way, because that's actually pretty awful. (Gambling and alcoholic hubby who is starting to show signs of abuse- pretty dang bad. And threats of child abduction? Not the best plot, but I'm a romantic.) I just like that they end up together. Or. Would have, had she not, spoiler alert, died at the end.

Anyway, after a few minutes into the movie, Jason tried to surreptitiously slide his arm around my shoulders. When I didn't move, he whispered my name. I glanced over at him and he caught me in his gaze, his eyes smoldering. Crap. "Jason-," He cut me off by pressing his lips to mine. I didn't reciprocate even though the slightly unexpected gesture created warmth that radiated from his lips. I shivered and tried to back up a little. He couldn't hide the hurt as he asked, "Em?" I attempted to remedy the situation by saying, "You're supposed to be watching the movie, dummy. Character building. Preparation. For the audition."

"Right. That." He kept his arm around me and turned back to the movie. I was really starting to hate feelings. Why did they have to be so complicated? They could change far too much and too quickly. However, I suspected that these were simply echoes of what had been. I was trying, though. For him. I did care about him. I just wasn't sure in what capacity my feelings for him originated. I stared at the television screen not really seeing it. When it ended, I only realized it because Jason stretched and said, "Well that was depressing. Why did Raoul have to be such a jerk? And she dies? Really?"

"It wouldn't be truthful, otherwise." Jason looked at me. "What?"

"If she hadn't died, then making Raoul sort of opposite than how he had been in the first one would have been just to appease the fans. It wouldn't be truthful to the story."

"Ah- um. Okay." I sighed at his awkward response. Why did I think that the only one who would truly understand was miles away, somewhere far from me? So far away. My heart gave a lurch, and with a pang, I stood. "I- I think I need to go home now, Jason. I don't feel well all of a sudden." I grabbed the DVD and replaced it into the case. He drove me home in silence. I could practically feel the frustration coming from him. When he parked in my driveway, just as I started to open the door, he grabbed my arm. "Emily." I looked over my shoulder at him. "Explain something to me." I knew this would be coming. "What?" I asked. I knew. He was going to ask why I was acting this way. "Why are you acting like this? Did I do something?" I would tell him what I had told him already. But he wouldn't listen. I knew it. "I've already told you, Jason."

"No you haven't-," He started. I blew up. "Yes, I have and you know it!" I turned to face him, all the frustration with him and his refusal to understand overflowing. "I don't love you-,"

"Yes. You do. You might think you don't, but you do. The spell's still just wearing off. You do. The rose is gone, right? You said it was gone. Emily, you can't love him!" His eyes pleaded with me, and the guilt I had so effectively pushed down rose back up to consume me. I tore my gaze away. "Jason- I- you're right. I'm sorry. I really don't feel all that good, so-," we were kissing again, but this time the warmth returned and I ventured so far as to gently kiss him back. I didn't _not_ like it. And that was a major improvement from the past few weeks.

Eventually, we broke away and Jason managed to ask me a question. "So, Emily. If I were to- maybe- um- ask you something to do with you and me and life and- well, um, would you say yes?" I could feel it slipping away. My will to resist. It would just be easier to pretend. I didn't know of any way out. "I would." I whispered, and got out of the car. I unlocked my front door before Jason could catch me and ran up to my room after locking the door behind me. _Why is this so hard? Why can't he- why won't he see? Why can't I break away?_ I let a few tears fall as my fingertip traced my wrist.

It wasn't gone- the rose. It was still there and I could swear that it had gotten more vibrant. It was more tangible and not as hard to see. I'd had to resort to using foundation to cover it up. I didn't want my parents asking questions. Or Jason seeing it. I'd been convinced that it had been fading and had told him so. But the opposite had been true and for some reason, I couldn't find a way to tell him. So I lied. It was becoming a very bad habit that I couldn't seem to break. I collapsed onto my bed and fished a journal out from behind my mattress. I grabbed a pen from my nightstand and opened the book to the last page I had written on. I tried my best to write down everything that had happened today, from the smallest detail. I struggled to find words to accurately describe my feelings towards Jason, towards anything really. I was having a hard time doing that. Feeling. I was slowly going numb without Ty. I didn't know how to stop it. It was like I'd had a taste of life and now that he had left me, I was dissolving back into whatever grey ordinary routine I'd come from. It was awful. By the time I got to the movie, my pen was moving frantically across the page.

 _I watched_ LND _with Jason. I was bored. The music was beautiful and for a moment, I felt like myself. But then he tried to kiss me and it startled me and I almost liked it and it hurts too much. I don't love him. I don't. I don't. I don't. God help me, I don't. I don't know how to make him understand, but somehow he keeps pulling me closer and he knows how to make me feel something other than this nothing that has consumed me since Ty he left me. But it isn't good. It hurts. Makes me feel sick. Like I'm trapped. And I can't get out. But when he kissed me again, later when he took me home, I_ almost _wanted more. Almost. I don't know if I can keep doing this. I don't want to hurt him, but he won't let me go._

After that, I started jotting down everything about me that I thought made up my identity. It was a way to keep me sane. Grounded. I would write down who I thought I was and then I would look at it and it would help. Just a little.

Abby answered my inquiry about Ty. In short, she didn't know where he had gone and when she asked his parents, they wouldn't tell her. I answered Jeanine Fields with an apology, but it seemed that I had no way to contact him either. He seemed to have vanished.

Graduation came and went. I was engaged to a man I didn't love. A man I couldn't escape. His grip on me was too tight. The ring Ty had given me helped, though. It comforted me. How he had gotten away from wherever he was, I didn't know, but it helped me. I started to wear it on a long chain around my neck. The grey started to fade and some color returned to living. I was starting to work up the courage to talk to Abby and Jason together. Abby would understand and help me convince Jason that he needed to let go and leave me be. Those musings were almost swept away by preparing for the internship audition. It was one of the few things that gave me life other than the small piece of music that I carried with me. When I sang, it was like I could breathe again, but I still had a hole inside. I didn't know how to fill it.

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 **Okay, so for this last paragraph, it coincides with the end of the last story I wrote and basically this chapter, except for the final paragraph, takes place before graduation- which happens in the other story. The final paragraph is a catch up for when the story really begins. Which will be... next week!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey! Here's chapter two!**

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 **Chapter 2**

The day had finally come. I was flying to New York a couple of days before the audition date and Jason was going with me. After my parents extracted a promise from him to _behave_ , we were dropped off at the airport and then we were off into the skies. After takeoff, I pulled my book out and started reading, trying to avoid any conversation with Jason because my voice had gotten a bit scratchy a couple of days ago, and I was trying to rest it for the audition. Plus I was in one of those moods where I wanted to read, not talk. Jason, of course, was oblivious. "I can't believe this, Em. It's amazing. I'm so excited. Are you?" I murmured my agreement and returned my focus to my book. He kept on, talking about anything and everything, me occasionally answering a question until my eyes grew so heavy I couldn't keep my eyes focused on the page I had been staring at for an hour. My eyes closed and I was out.

* * *

I looked over at her. She was sound asleep, resting against my shoulder. Her book was open to the same page it had been at for the entire trip. I'd been trying to get her to engage, to have some of the spark she'd had at the beginning of the school year, but she hadn't been willing. I probably should have just let her read because I knew she was trying to save her voice, but I got nervous whenever I flew and I couldn't help the stream of questions that just seemed to flow continuously out of my mouth. She had nodded off about an hour and a half into the flight and she looked so peaceful. She hadn't looked truly at ease for quite some time. I was really excited about this trip. It felt like something was going to happen, something good. I was totally happy in this moment.

I let my head rest against hers and I looked down at her hands. They were so small, her fingers slender and long. She had fallen asleep holding her book, so her wrists were turned up. A glimmer of white caught my eye. I froze, my contentedness falling away. No. It couldn't be. She had said it was gone. I gently reached over and pulled her left hand away from her book and up towards me. I rubbed my thumb softly against her wrist. Some of whatever she had used to cover up that mark came off against my finger. I stared down at it. The rose was still there. Stronger than ever.

She had lied to me.

I carefully set her arm back down in her lap. She had _lied_ to me. She was still under his spell. He wasn't even here, and he was still influencing her. It explained so much about her behavior towards me. I didn't know exactly what the rose on her wrist meant, but all I knew was that it was a connection to Ty- something she shouldn't- couldn't have. It was supposed to be gone. "Why?" I whispered. She shifted a little, but stayed asleep.

* * *

Jason woke me by moving some and calling my name. "Emily. We've landed." I sat up from leaning on him (oops) and yawned. I hadn't meant to fall asleep. I closed my book that had somehow managed to stay on my lap and unbuckled. I noticed that some of the makeup on my wrist had smudged a little, revealing a portion of the petals of the rose. I glanced at Jason out of the corner of my eye. He was looking the other way so I tried to smooth out the makeup to cover it and succeeded in only rubbing more off. I had a tiny amount of foundation in my carry-on, but I wouldn't be able to get to it until after we got off. Terrified he might see it, I tried to casually grab my book with my left hand to conceal my wrist and didn't let it go of it until we got out of the plane and I was safely in the bathroom. I dug out my foundation and hastily reapplied it and then slipped it and my book into my bag. I let out a sigh. It was going to be fine.

We caught a taxi to our hotel and checked in. We had rooms on the same floor, but on opposite sides of the hall from each other. We stood in front of our doors, chatting about nothing. Jason looked a little off. "You okay?" I asked, concerned. "Yeah." He said. "I just feel a little nauseous. I'm fine."

"The plane?" I wondered. He nodded. I knew he was a little nervous when it came to flying, but it felt like something else was going on. "You sure? Is something else bugging you?" He stared at me for a moment until I shifted under his gaze. Then he shook his head and unlocked his room, leaving me standing in the hallway. Alone.

We spent our one free day in New York exploring. It was actually fun, despite the awkwardness that had been between us since the plane ride. He still wouldn't tell me what was wrong, but he acted almost… relieved? I wasn't sure, but something was up.

We got to see a Broadway musical, which was fabulous, and then we wandered our way around until we found the theater we would be auditioning at. It was beautiful. It didn't look like much from the outside, but it still had an air of majesty around it. We tried to see if we could go in, but it was closed for auditions for the equity performers. "Jason." He turned to me. "Hmm?"

"Look at it." I gave a breathy laugh. "We could be performing here this summer." I turned to him with a grin. "I'm so excited for tomorrow. It's gonna be awesome." He laughed and grabbed my hand. "Yep. Awesome."

We rode a subway back to our hotel and tried to find a place in the hotel where we could practice our audition pieces without disturbing anyone. We were directed to a small conference room behind the grand ballroom. We were at a freaking gorgeous hotel. Jason's mom had something to do with it, but Jason and his mom refused to give me or my parents any details other than our living arrangements.

When the hotel staff member had left and the door closed with a soft _thud_ , Jason whipped out his phone and we started warming up. We ran through scales, diction exercises, the whole shebang, and then I sat down to critique Jason's audition piece. He had chosen to sing _'Till I Hear You Sing_ and I had mixed feelings about it. He did it well, it's just that I couldn't picture him as the Phantom at all. When I pointed this out to him, he replied with, "Well, the only song Raoul sings by himself isn't very audition-y."

"True." There were actually very few songs that were sung by individuals in this musical. I had narrowed my selection to three songs: _Beneath a Moonless Sky_ , _Once Upon Another Time_ , and _Love Never Dies_. I was very reluctant to sing the last one, because I just knew that every other female auditioning would be singing it. But it was Christine's only full solo. I knew them all by heart and wanted to sing _Moonless Sky_ , but I couldn't sing it with Jason. It didn't work. "Well?" Jason asked. "Which one have you decided on?" I took a deep breath in and just went for it. "Title song." Jason played the music. I sang, I tried to grasp that truth in the song that was always out of Jason's comprehending. When I finished singing, I felt utterly disappointed in myself. "No. It doesn't feel right. But I can't sing the others. They don't feel right either." We sang for each other a few more times and then went up to our rooms so as not to strain our voices the night before the audition.

I was watching a cooking show when a knock on my door pulled me away. I peered out the peephole and saw Jason standing in the hall. I opened the door. "Yes? Can I help you?" I asked with a smile. "I was wondering if, maybe, you wanted to hang out some. Watch a movie?" That would be nice, as watching cooking shows made me hungry. "Sure! Yours or mine?"

"Mine work?"

"Yeah." I nodded. "Let me grab my key and my phone. Don't want to freak the parents out if they call and I miss it. Give me a second." I grabbed both items and paused as I headed back for the door. I was in my pajamas already, a huge long sleeved t-shirt and flannel pants, and considered changing. I decided against it, then slipped into a sports bra and readjusted my shirt. I opened the door and Jason was still standing there, waiting. He lit up when he saw me open the door. "Gorgeous." He said. I couldn't keep the small smile off my lips as I rolled my eyes. He did know how to make me smile. "Liar." He laughed and opened his door. He pulled his laptop from the desk it rested on and started browsing through Netflix. "What movie are you thinking?" I looked through the movies and finally settled on Sherlock Holmes. The one with Robert Downey Jr. as Sherlock. Those movies are the best. (The TV show is pretty awesome, too, but it was a lot of effort just to convince Jason to watch the movie.) We settled back on his bed with the laptop in front of us. Within minutes, Jason was asleep with his arm around me and hugging me to his chest. I sat there watching the movie until my excitement for the next day faded and gave way to fatigue.

I don't know how long I had been asleep, but the movie was still playing. My phone was buzzing next to me, which was what had woken me up. It was my mom. "Hey, sweetheart." She said. "How'd your day go?" We chatted for a brief moment before she bid me goodnight. "Was that your mom?" Jason asked, making me jump a little. I hadn't realized he'd woken up. "Yeah. She just wanted to know how the day went and stuff." He grunted in acknowledgement. After a few minutes of slightly awkward silence other than the movie, I asked, "So nothing's wrong?" He didn't answer me and I thought maybe he had fallen asleep again, but he reached over and grabbed my left hand. The shock made us both jerk away from each other. "I'd like to talk about _that_ , since you keep asking." Dread filling my stomach, but playing naïve, I asked, "What? The shock? It's probably just- um-," He cut me off. "I know, Emily."

"You know? Know what?" My brain was scrambling, searching desperately for something plausible that would explain the situation. I pushed myself up and away from him. he sat up as well and reached out for my arm. He shoved my sleeve up exposing the rose in all its pale glory. "The rose is still there." He stated.

"No- no it's- not _that_ rose- I just-," His sigh was full of disappointment and it made my voice catch. "Why are you lying to me, Emily?"

"I was going to tell you." I whispered. "When?" He asked. "Why did you tell me it was gone?"

"Because I thought it was fading when I first told you, and then it actually wasn't, but then the shocks stopped, so I figured it wasn't a big deal, and then when it actually started to get darker, I knew then there would be no chance of you ever accepting that my thoughts and feelings are my own. There would be no chance of you ever letting me go."

"But why did you have to _lie_ -,"

"Because you don't listen! You haven't for a long time." I snapped at him.

"What do you mean? I listen to you-,"

"Do you? Then why don't you believe anything I say about how I feel?"

"That's- because that's not- you don't- mean it." He finished, quietly. He wouldn't look at me. It made me furious. "So basically, all you do is decide what I mean, you don't listen to what I'm actually saying, and _you_ also lie." He tried to interrupt at that, but I continued, "You're lying to yourself, and you know it. You're refusing to see what I've been trying to tell you. This whole thing is a lie. I don't know how to make it better. I sat you and Abby down to try and explain to you, but you still ignore me. I'm not sure I even want to try anymore." I said.

"How can you say that?" He had the gall to look affronted.

"Every time we talk, like this, we end up arguing about something."

"That's not true-,"

"It is true!" I yelled. "We are right now!" Pounding on the wall pulled me out of my angry rant. "We are right now." I whispered. "Always. Always fighting. I can't-," I pressed my fists into my eyes, trying to block out this conversation that wouldn't get us anywhere. Jason interrupted, pulling my hands away from my face, "Not tonight." I let out a frustrated and angry snort. He sighed. "Emily, let's not go there tonight. Please. I'll listen to you, I promise." When he caught my dubious look, he added, "Just not tonight. After we get home. Please. Because whatever you might think, I do care about you and I want you to do well tomorrow, and I think hashing all this out tonight would make for a poor audition tomorrow." I closed my eyes and counted backwards from twenty. I took in a deep breath and stood up. "Whatever. Night." I grabbed my key card and made for the door. I had turned the handle and had barely opened the door when Jason's hand came over my shoulder and gently pushed the door closed. "What?" I asked without turning. "Em, I-," He sighed and I felt his breath on my neck. "I don't want tonight to end this way."

"Oh? How did you want it to end?" I said to the door. "More like this." He whispered and suddenly I was against the wall, trapped. He had my arms pinned next to me and he was attempting to kiss his way up my neck. The little bit of light and color that had returned in my life vanished. I felt nothing other than disgust. "Let me go." I choked out. When he tried to kiss me full on, I turned away. "Jason." Now the disgust was fading away into pure numbness. "Let. Me. Go." I could feel him tense up and he looked down at me, his expression suddenly terrified. "Emily?" He whispered. "Are you o-,"

"So this is all you want from me. Just being _friendly_ isn't enough. Hanging out, just enjoying each other's company's not enough for you. Even though I've told you I can't do this." I looked up at him, straight into his worried eyes. "Let me go. Now."

The dead look in her eyes scared me more than the look she had when Ty had been messing with her head. A lightning hot shock caused me to jerk my hands away from the girl I'd been trying to hold. I backed away from her. She turned from me and slowly opened the door. And she left. What had I just done?

* * *

I locked the door behind me. I managed to brush my teeth and wash my face. I stumbled to my bed and plugged my phone up. I set my alarm for enough time to get up and get ready for the audition. The audition wasn't until two, but I had a feeling I wasn't going to be leaving my room for anything other than that. I laid back in my bed and stared at the ceiling until my eyes closed on their own.

I did not dream that night.

* * *

 **There you go! Chapter three will be up next week!**


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